The Adventures of Kerbin, Celtic and Bonesy 2: The Vore-ifyer
The trio of heroes Kerbin, Celtic and Bonesy are continuing the cleansing of the Wikiverse. In the span of that time, Bonesy found a brand new weapon, The BoneBane Blade, a sword with the popping out abilities of all Skeletons. Our heroes are now approaching Planet Vorius, A headquarters of Brony and Vore activities. Approaching the docking station in their newly acquired spaceship, given to them by the grateful Deletion Log Refugees, The K3k M8 class star-cruiser, The T.R.L.L Rickroll. Ryuko: "KAWAAAIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!" Bonesy: "Celtic?" Celtic: "Yeah?" Bonesy: "If you don't shut HER CUTE ASS UP, I WILL SHOVE THAT SCISSOR BLADE UP BOTH OF YOUR ASSES SIMULTANEOUSLY!" Kerbin: "I agree with this statement. Highly agree." Celtic: "Fine. (summons Deadroth)." Deadroth: "I'LL PLAY FUCKING JUMP-ROPE WITH YOUR OPTIC NERVES!" Bonesy: "NEVERMIND, NEVERMIND RYUKO WAS FINE PLEASE BRING HER BACK FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY." Celtic: "Thought so." (Resummons Furry Ryuko.) Kerbin: "Yo Bonesy, you have the Authorization codes?" Bonesy: "Yeah, it's 1337420360." Celtic: "Seriously!?" Bonesy: "Yeah, dumb innit?" Stereotypical Space trooper: "Auth code accepted, welcome to Vorius, and please, take these coupons to the resident Vore Parlors." Celtic: "Yeah, no." Kerbin: "Hold on, hold on, we may need these. Like Grue spray." Bonesy: "But the Grue spray didn't wor...ah whatever, the plot may demand it at one point. Take em." Celtic: "Who is our contact,again?" Bonesy: "Some guy named "V". So creepy, heh." The heroes stepped out into Vorius Plaza. The place looked like a red-black color swap of the Citadel from Mass Effect Because Bonesy was tired and he didn't want to describe the place in any real detail. Kerbin: "This place is 2spooky4me m8." Random street vendor: "Newest Vore Weekly! Sonic eats out Rouge... Literally!" Celtic: "I'm going to vomit." Bonesy: "Well steel your stomach, man, because our informant is in a jerkoff parlor. Ewww" Celtic vomited on the street vendor's vore stack, causing him to run away screaming like a little bitch and all other vendors to start to surround them angrily. Bonesy: "Dammit Celtic,Wait until i can find a better spine before you get us into a fight,this scoliosis is really shit for fighting." The heroes drew their weapons. The Bow of Flame Wars, The BoneBane Blade, The Sword of Blatant Ripoffs. The first wave of vendors fell in a few seconds, as did the second and third. But by the fourth they started to tire, arms shaking,swipes weak. The Vore Vendors were advancing with a Fleshlust. They wanted to eat us all. All of the vendors would've killed them, but then, a black and red streak flew from a nearby Jerkoff Parlor, dropping Vore Porno vendors everywhere until there were none left. Weapons aimed, the heroes awaited a new fight with this enemy. The blur became a recognizable form. Dressed in a skin tight black and red jumpsuit, was..... Bonesy: "VERONICA!?!?!" Veronica: "Oh, it's you. I should've let them kill you." Kerbin: "Tsundere much?" Celtic: "Oh yeah, totally." Bonesy: "Wait, I can explain..." Veronica: "Here's the note the sender told me to get to you. Goodbye, Bonesy." Bonesy: "No wait please..." But she had already bounded away, almost flying amongst the rooftops of the city. Bonesy sighed. Celtic: "Now i feel kinda bad about breaking you two apart...aaannd it's gone." Bonesy: "You wanna know what the worst part is?" Kerbin: "What?" Bonesy: "She wore jumpsuits like that every day." The note read "The Fanfic section, Sonic block, Crossover Bar. You'll find him there. signed,an old friend." They headed to the bar, Kerbin setting up the Bancannon up on the roof. A .500 caliber rifle firing Banium slugs, to take whoever "he" was, out if they didn't give up what information they needed on Animefan's Bronifier. He would pay for what he did to the heroes former friend. Bonesy walked up to the bar and ordered a 2Speedy4yew, Which he wouldn't ever drink,of course, but it made him seem like a regular. Celtic was off in a hotel room with Ryuko. Bonesy eyed the bar when he saw a familiar face, ShrekAlmighty, the informant. Shrek: "How ye doin, laddeh? (doesn't actually talk like this in chat.) Bonesy: "Doing good, got the info we need?" Shrek eyed Bonesy's drink. Shrek: "Gimme that, laddeh, and i'll tell you where he is." Bonesy: "Seriously? Okay then here ya go." Shrek downed the runny, white mess in a flash, leaving nothing but a disgusted Bonesy, and an impressed Kerbin, who had him lined up in case he didn't spill the location. Shrek: "(BUUUUURRRRP) Oooh laddeh, that hits the spot. Wanna know were he is? Look up. Bonesy looks up to see a gigantic tower, surrounded with black lightning, the souls of the damned, and red electric storm clouds. Bonesy: "I feel like an idiot now." Shrek: "As yeh should." Bonesy pointed at the ogreweight beast of an ogre. Bonesy: "Hey,fuck yo..." Kerbin took Bonesy pointing at Shrek as a sign to shoot,So he did.The recoil from the shot sent him around the world so fast,he ended up in the seat next to Bonesy before the bullet got there. Shrek: "(now jawless and more disgusting than ever) AI ONGUE, OO UCKING ASERDS!!!" Bonesy: "Dammit, Kerbin." Kerbin: "Sorry m8." Shrek: "AS ONNA AKE E ALL EEK OO E'ENERATE AH AYER!!" (Translation: It's gonna take me all week to regenerate my layers) Celtic exited a nearby hotel, shirt ruffled and hair stuck up in different places, holding the hand of an equally unkempt Ryuko. Celtic: "Holy shit that was amazing.You were gre....(sees the scene before him)...and my boner's gone now. Bonesy: "Put your pants back on, we need to get to the top of that tower." Kerbin: "I'm gonna stay back here, provide some support, k?" Celtic: "Pussy." Kerbin: "Asshole." Celtic: "Had 'em both." Bonesy: "Would you please shut up now, kay? Thnx." And so Bonesy and Celtic ran up the tower at Sanic speed, REKTing scrubs and PWNing n00bs along the way, the battles were long, difficult, and intense. SO long, that in fact, that Bonesy didn't want to detail all of it. They barely had enough time to level up their Skill Trees. When they finally arrived at the top, the cause of Vorius's Bronification and Vorifying (didn't need help on that one) was revealed. It was none other than.....THEBIGPUPPY! (DUNDUNDUUUUUUUUNNNN) Celtic: "I get the Vorifying, but why the Bronifiation?" Puppy: "Unspecified plot revenge." Bonesy: "Ah, got it. BATTLE!!!" They fought for hours, Puppy's weapon, The Shitpost Sword, equally matched all the others weapons for hours, when Celtic finally found a niche in his defense. Celtic: "Hey Bonesy! Ever heard of the Big Bang Theory?" Bonesy: "Yeah, why?" Celtic: "Then you get my POINT" (WINK-WINK-HUGE MOTHERFUCKING WINK) Bonesy: "What???" Celtic: "Point at his knees, dammit." Bonesy: "Oh yeah, right." Bonesy pointed at Puppy's knees, signaling Kerbin to fire. Kerbin took the shot, the shot sounding like a thermonuclear Bomb, blasting Puppy's legs off. Puppy: "GET OVER 'ERE ILL NIBBLE YER FECKIN LEGS OFF M8." Celtic: "I will make your death quick if you tell us why you did this." Bonesy: "(mumbles) soundin like a cheesy ass Arnold Schwarzenneger movie." Puppy: "(kef) (kef) f-for....teh lulz...Andalsobecausetheplotdemandsiiiiiitttt. Hurk. Also Memez and Jack are still in that vault. You should go get them. HURK. (DED)" Bonesy: "So we can't leave them there any longer, huh?" Veronica: "HOW HAVE YOU NOT FUCKING NOTICED ME YET!?!?!?!?" Bonesy looked up to see Veronica tied to a flagpole, dressed in an even more revealing jumpsuit than before. Bonesy: "We'll get you down... If you listen to what i have to say." Veronica: "Fine then." Bonesy then explained to Veronica what happened that day when he attempted to propose. Veronica: "Huh. So i must look like a real bitch then huh?" Celtic: "Kinda." Bonesy: "Dude. Really? That's my fiancee your talking to." Celtic: "Okay i'll say it. I'm sorry. I own up to my mistakes." Ryuko: "Master-Senpai is so honorable! Kawaiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!" Bonesy: "Starting to think the Daedroth was better, Anyway off to Vault 420. To save Memez and Jack!" And so the party of three, became Four (Ryuko didn't count,She was a summon.), and the Four embarked on their way to Vault 420. But Bonesy saw something on the ground. Bonesy: "HOLY SHIT GUYS!" Celtic: "What?" Kerbin: "What??" Veronica: "What???" Ryuko: "Kawaiii????" Bonesy: "Why did you make her speak like tha... Whatever, it's the main Wub component from my Bass Cannon!" Kerbin: "So?" Bonesy: "So, I can rebuild it! Better, Faster, Stronger... Wubbier" And so they then left for Earth, and Vault 420, Bonesy tinkering with a new Bass Cannon Shell design that could output more wubs faster, without blowing up like it did last time. (purposefully, of course.) Celtic, having more "Halo Training Lessons" with Ryu. Kerbin, tinkering with his new favorite weapon, and Veronica, training in the use of skin tight jumpsuit combat. Preparing for the final battle. Or some shit like that. To be continued Meanwhile, in Vault 420... Memez: "Dude. This vault is amazing!" Jack: "Hell yeah, man. Oh, pass the 30 Mcdonalds burgers." Vault PA system: "RELEASING MUTAGEN VIRUS. ALL INDIVIDUALS IN SECTION B WILL BE INFECTED." Memez: "Well, shit." Jack: "Dude,no worries. We're in Section A m80." Memez: "That means that the mutants will be coming for us." Jack: "...Well, shit."